“挥之不去”
用英语怎么说？

After a series of painful losses in December, I became desperate to win my money back. I abandoned my analytical rules, increased my wager sizes to $500, and began chasing my losses. Point spreads ran constantly through my head, creating a stressful holiday season. By the end of the NFL playoffs, I had lost thousands of dollars. Determined to dig myself out of the hole, I placed a massive $4,735 bet on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. The game was a total disaster, and my bet lost completely. I ended the season down $9,891. Staring at that number, I realized how easily my journalistic exercise had turned into an obsession. I knew the temptation to gamble on upcoming tournaments would linger. To protect myself, I opened my laptop and registered for a state self-exclusion list.

在十二月经历了一系列痛苦的失败后，我变得不顾一切地想要赢回我的钱。我放弃了我的分析规则，将投注额增加到500美元，并开始捞回损失。让分盘在我的脑海中不断闪现，营造了一个充满压力的假期。到NFL季后赛结束时，我输掉了数千美元。为了脱离困境，我下了4735美元的巨额赌注，赌爱国者队赢得超级碗。这场比赛完全是一场灾难，我的下注也全盘皆输。赛季结束时，我亏损了9891美元。看着这个数字，我意识到我的新闻实践是多么容易地变成了一种执念。我知道对即将到来的锦标赛下注的诱惑依然会挥之不去。为了保护自己，我打开笔记本电脑，登记了州立自我排除名单。